The Swayziest

Hang your head out of the window and wail, for we have lost Patrick Swayze. He was one of the most unusual leading men of the last 20 years, a combination of several different types of leading men: An action hero, a refined Broadway-style dancer, an adherent of Eastern thought, and quite possibly a Brat Pack member.

Appreciations and retrospectives are all over the usual news and websites: I think there is little we can add here, except agree that he tended to be the most interesting part of whatever film he was in.

The best tribute to Mr. Swayze I can think of is actually quite old: A Christmas carol, written for a December 1991 episode of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (Film: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians):

LET'S HAVE A PATRICK SWAYZE CHRISTMAS
(Michael J. Nelson)

Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
We'll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.
And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
We'll decorate our barstools and gather round and sing.

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!

It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will, ohh,

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.
And this can be the haziest...
This can be the laziest...
This can be the Swayziest
Christmas of them aaallllllllll!

See it here on YouTube.

When I learned of Mr. Swayze's passing, this tune (the only Xmas song with an action sequence, might I add) was the first thing that popped into my head. I think it is, in retrospect, a very touching tribute.

I think if all of us, even in a small way, kept a bit of Patrick Swayze in our hearts this upcoming holiday season, the season would be that much brighter. Namaste.

Addendum: Patrick Swayze actually DID star in a Christmas movie: Christmas in Wonderland (d. James Orr, 2007). Made in a mall in Edmonton, Alberta, it apparently wasn't very good (Rotten Tomatoes Rating: "N/A!"). I seriously doubt that "Let's Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas" was on it's soundtrack. --s